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Comman Marriage Problems
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Marriage Problems After
Children:
The advent of children brings another potential
source of marriage problems. Children are wonderful,
and can bring wonderful and meaningful gifts into
our lives. However, having children can bring additional
stress into a marriage because the caretaking of children
requires more responsibility as well as a change in
roles, provides more fodder for disagreement and strain,
and reduces the amount of time available to bond as
a couple. This combination can test even the strongest
of bonds.
*. Busy
Schedules:
Marriage problems can result from overly-busy schedules
for a few reasons. First, couples who are very busy
may find themselves generally stressed as well, especially
if they’re not taking care of themselves with
quality sleep and good nutrition. Additionally, they
may find themselves less connected because they have
less time to spend together, and more separateness
in their lives. Finally, if they don’t work
together as a team they may find themselves fighting
over who’s taking care of which household and
social responsibilities.
*. Bad Habbits:
Sometimes couples experience marriage problems that
could be solved if the two could notice their habits
and change them. People don't always make a conscious
decision to argue over petty things, nag and be critical,
or leave messes for the other to clean, for example.
People just get into negative patterns of relating,
fall into lazy personal habits, or get into a rut
that they perpetuate out of habit.
*. Poor
Communication:
Perhaps the biggest predictor of marriage problems
is poor communication, or negative communication that
belies damaging attitudes and dynamics within the
relationship. Negative communication is so damaging,
in fact, that researcher John Gottman and his team
have been able to predict with a very high degree
of certainty which newlywed couples would later divorce,
based on watching their communication dynamics for
a few minutes! Healthy communication is key; unhealthy
communication can lead to major marriage problems.
*. There are other
common problems like disagreement
over how to discipline the kids, or friction in relationships
with in-laws, for example. These challenges exist
in almost all marriages, and it can sometimes seem
overwhelming and insurmountable.
You are not the first couple to face marriage problems,
and you will not be the last.
Fortunately,
these marriage problems can be worked on. Even if
only one partner is consciously trying to change,
any change can bring a shift in the dynamic of the
relationship, which can bring positive results.
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